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Inside a Scalable Solution to Increasing Quality Relationships in Your Church with Judy West

Thanks for listening to this week’s unSeminary podcast. This week we have Judy West chatting with us. She is the Pastor of Leadership Development at The Crossing in St. Louis.

The Crossing has four locations in St. Louis and can also be experienced online. Judy is with us today to talk about the class the church created to help followers of Christ become more emotionally healthy as part of their leadership development.

  • Solve conflicts with Jesus. // A church is filled with broken people and we as our lives bump against one another, friction occurs. Judy and the staff at The Crossing wanted to figure out how to teach people to bump with each other well. Part of this exploration meant asking questions such as, how do you solve conflicts the way Jesus teaches? How do you set appropriate boundaries?
  • Body Life, a 5 week class. // In response, the team developed a five week class called Body Life. The basic premise of the class is based on a prayer by Jesus in John 17 in which He asks that the people He leaves behind are one, just as He is one with God.
  • How to focus and forgive. // In week 1, the focus is on painting that picture of oneness as seen in John 17. The second week is teaching how to be one even though everyone is different from each other. Week 2 also touches on spiritual gifts. We can be one but we are all different, and so week 3 teaches how to set boundaries. Week 4 teaches what to do when bumps with each other occur. This week includes conflict night, in which the participants role play resolving conflict with each other. And then week 5 is focused on how to forgive one another when these bumps occur.
  • Teach how to deal with conflict. // The class teaches everyone that you don’t have to be afraid of conflict. After the teaching, the people then talk with everyone about what happened inside, were they nervous or scared, and why. They talk about family origins while growing up and how conflict was dealt with. The class then goes on teaching how to deal with conflict through the steps of Matthew 18. First discuss the problem in private and what the issue is before approaching the solution.
  • Skills and words in confrontation. // People often have trouble discussing problems with others. The class provides participants with words and sentences to use in confrontations. Participants learn to ask permission to question issues and to push back on the other person, clarifying the things that have been said.
  • Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. // In approaching the confrontation, stick to the teaching of HALT. Don’t approach someone to question them if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Take care of those issues first, then walk into the Matthew 18 way of having a conversation in a humble way.

You can learn more about The Crossing at their church and grab Lead Pastor Greg Holder’s book, The Genius of One: God’s Answer for Our Fractured World right here. Judy also helps oversee an executive pastor group for women with the Women Executive Pastors at

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Rich Birch
Rich Birch is one of the early multi-site church pioneers in North America. He led the charge in helping The Meeting House in Toronto to become the leading multi-site church in Canada with over 5,000+ people in 18 locations. In addition, he served on the leadership team of Connexus Church in Ontario, a North Point Community Church Strategic Partner. He has also been a part of the lead team at Liquid Church - a 5 location multisite church serving the Manhattan facing suburbs of New Jersey. Liquid is known for it’s innovative approach to outreach and community impact. Rich is passionate about helping churches reach more people, more quickly through excellent execution.His latest book Church Growth Flywheel: 5 Practical Systems to Drive Growth at Your Church is an Amazon bestseller and is design to help your church reach more people in your community.